Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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