oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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