I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
