You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Someone signed my nipple.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
