she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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