if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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