So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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