he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
