There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
