me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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