I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
