BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
