the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
