But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
