CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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