we have pet lesbian snakes
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
