Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my being single is dangerous.
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
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I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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