never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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