haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
