he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
