ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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