Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
