you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
