areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize