You just made me feel so damn special
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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