we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
