I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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