I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
