How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
