we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
