there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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