I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just found puke in my bra..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
