is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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