I puked a lego.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
