Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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