is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
