You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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