Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
