I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize