I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
