lets start a swedish sibling band together
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
