I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
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they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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