If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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