Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
