I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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