Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
