No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
