Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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