ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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