I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You are a genius and a whore.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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