the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she pinky promised me she was 18
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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