so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
