After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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