is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
