Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I would fuck him just for his dog
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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