Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize