I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
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he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
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We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
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